Career Growth

Finding a mentor without making it weird

Nobody wants to answer 'will you be my mentor?' — it sounds like a second job. Here's how mentorship actually starts, and how to earn it.

By Daniel Brooks · 2026-06-27

Formal mentorship asks feel like proposals on a first date. Real mentorship starts small, specific and useful — and becomes a relationship by accident.

The approach that works

• Ask one specific question — 'how did you decide X?' is answerable; 'can I pick your brain?' is homework.
• Show the work — 'I tried A and B, got stuck at C' earns ten times the goodwill of a blank ask.
• Report back — telling them their advice worked is the whole payment. Almost nobody does it; be the one who does.